Social media helps us stay connected—but it also shapes how we see ourselves. When we constantly compare our lives to what we see online, it can hurt our self-esteem and mental health. Let’s explore why this happens, who it affects most, and what you can do to feel better.
The Impact of Social Comparison on Social Media
Social comparison is when we judge ourselves based on others. Social media makes this worse by showing us only the best parts of people’s lives. We see smiling selfies, fancy vacations, and big wins—but not the hard days or behind-the-scenes struggles.
According to the American Psychological Association, this constant exposure can lead to more stress and anxiety. Over time, seeing only “perfect” lives online can make our own lives feel less exciting or not good enough.
How It Affects Self-Esteem
When we see others posting about success, travel, or looking great, we might start to feel like we’re not doing enough. It can feel like everyone else is winning while we’re stuck. Over time, this can lead to self-doubt and lower confidence.
A study from the Pew Research Center found that many teens feel pressure to look good and get likes. This creates a loop of trying to post the “right” image and feeling bad when they don’t get enough attention. The more we seek approval online, the more our self-worth can depend on it.
The Downside of Social Comparison Online
Not all comparisons are bad. Sometimes it can motivate us. But when it’s constant, it can make us feel stuck or unworthy.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
When we scroll and see others going out, achieving goals, or having fun without us, it can make us feel like we’re being left behind. Even if we were content before, those posts can trigger a sense of lack. This feeling, called FOMO, can make us anxious or unhappy, and push us to check our phones even more.
The Mayo Clinic says FOMO is linked to higher stress and even sadness, especially in younger people. We might feel like we need to keep up or be part of everything, which is exhausting.
Unrealistic Expectations
Many photos and videos we see online are edited or filtered. People only post their best moments, and sometimes those moments are staged. When we see those images often, it’s easy to think that’s how life should look all the time.
This can lead us to believe that we should always be productive, always look a certain way, or always be happy. These expectations aren’t fair to ourselves and can make us feel like we’re falling short—even though the posts aren’t showing the full truth.
Who Feels Social Comparison More?
Anyone can be affected, but some groups feel it more strongly:
- Teens and Young Adults: They’re figuring out who they are and often seek approval through likes and comments.
- Perfectionists and High Achievers: They push themselves to succeed and may feel like they’re falling behind if others seem more successful online.
The JED Foundation notes that young people especially are vulnerable to the pressure of online comparison.
Recognizing Social Comparison Online
It’s important to spot the signs:
- You feel worse after using social media.
- You keep thinking about what others post.
- You compare your looks, life, or success to others often.
If these feel familiar, it might be time to take a step back and reflect on your relationship with social media.
Breaking Free from Social Comparison
You don’t need to quit social media to feel better. Small changes can help you protect your mental health.
Curate Your Feed
Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel bad. Instead, follow people and pages that promote honesty and real-life moments. For example, Josh’s Benches encourages people to slow down, reflect, and connect with their communities.
Practice Gratitude
Spend a few minutes each day thinking about what you’re thankful for. Even small wins count. Happify has easy tools and games to help you stay positive.
Set Digital Boundaries
- Use your phone’s settings to track or limit screen time.
- Take breaks from apps—maybe one day a week without scrolling.
- Replace screen time with something offline: a walk, a call with a friend, or a new hobby.
Final Thoughts
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to what you see online. But remember—your value isn’t measured by likes, comments, or what others post. It’s built on who you are, what you do, and how you treat yourself and others.
Take control of your feed, your time, and your mindset. You deserve peace and confidence in your real life—not just your digital one. For more ways to stay grounded, check out Josh’s Benches—a space where compassion and connection come first.